3648 Kilometres Of Entertainment

Casey writes:

Imprisoned in our third class bubble on this trans-Siberian train for 66 hours, we need a strategy to help pass the time. The Lonely Planet describes third class travel on Russian trains as akin to a 'refugee camp'. What better way than to dispel this description than to keep a running commentary on our fellow Carriage 7 buddies:

1. The first person to share our six-bed pod is a young woman we've named 'Smiley'. Smiley, like most Russians, doesn't know how to live up to her nickname. Nor does she know how to make eye contact. Fortunately she leaves us at Petrovsky-Zavod after only a few stops.

2. We greet a middle aged man who also doesn't smile or make eye contact. But he does enjoy guzzling a huge bottle of fanta. We call him 'Fantsy'. He's fairly stylish in his suede pants and suede jacket. He too is only a brief neighbour, and we aren't shattered when he also leaves us.

3. The woman I accidentally walked in on in the toilet is a sight to behold. she doesn't bother locking the door, but screams Russian insults at me when I innocently turn the handle and walk in. While waiting patiently outside. I hear flush after flush and running water and I can't decide if she has fallen in, or is making a clear point to me. After nearly 20 minutes, she emerges in her tight shorts and singlet, acting more like a teenager than the 40-something witch that she is.

4. 'Bulldog' is a severe looking woman in her fifties. She boards at Petrovsky-Zavod and refuses to return our smiles and eye contact. In fact, she moves away from us and sits at a different table, making her intentions for communication clear. As if they weren't already. Thankfully this means we no longer have vision of her black and pink lacy bra which is revealed by her dangerously low neckline and cleavage. Richard and I almost high-five each other when she puts on her lilac coat and leaves us at Khilok.

5. Finally, we think we've scored a friendly Russian neighbour! An older man joins us at Khilok and is keen to chat. He has no English, and babbles in Russian and German. He laughs frequently and we like him a lot. It all makes sense when we are trying to communicate by pointing at a map. He points to Greece and we realise that he is actually Greek not Russian! His name is Yiannes and sadly, he is disembarking at 3:00am when we reach Chita. By going to sleep early, he has missed the view out the window of the rolling Siberian plateau, which at 10:30pm is still bathed in sunlight... bizarre!

6. At 3:00am a young woman joins us, and she keeps to herself. I'm not much company either because I am more interested in sleeping. By the time I wake up in the morning, she has gone. She doesn't even earn a nickname.

7. The young bloke in the army uniform with the shaved head and the large knife is intimidating. What better name for him than 'Stabby'. He stares non stop at me with piercing unfriendly eyes. I hope he is not with us all the way to Vladivostok. Regardless, I vow not to get on his bad side.

8. For much of the second day on the train, we have our pod to ourselves. We appreciate this luxury, although the stuffy air and high temperatures make the trip not particularly comfortable. Richard tries to open the window to no avail, so our only options for fresh air are to stick our heads out of the toilet window, or fight with the smokers on the vestibule. 

9.At Yerofey Pavlovich we think we've found a friendly neighbour. She smiles and talks, but as soon as she realises that we only speak English, she lies down, rolls over and goes to sleep for the next 36 hours. We've named her 'Sleepy'.

10. I am awakened at 8:30am on the third day by an excursion of thirty school children piling onto our carriage. They start off incredibly well behaved but this deteriorates as time goes on. Fortunately they leave at the very next stop.

11. At Belogorsk two non-talking, non-smiling women join us. The older, larger lady makes her bed and lies down. Apart from her trying to break the door down while I'm in the toilet, she provides no other interaction and prefers to eat and sleep all day. She earns a nickname not suitable for publishing on this blog. The younger girl (who wears socks with her sandals so we christen her 'Socky') refuses to smile or make eye contact, but she does like to sit on everyone's bed except her own.

12. The stuffiness and high temperatures are unbearable on the third day. The unrelenting heat is making me physically sick and dizzy, with no reprise. Twice during the day we can get off the train at a station stop but ten minutes later we have to endure the discomfort again as we re-board.

13. Richard makes a friend called Sacha. Sacha doesn't smile but he likes to practise his English and seems interested in Richard's answers to his questions. It's nice to find one chatty Russian person on this train!

14. At Khabarovsk we gain a new young lady with garish jeans who becomes affectionately known to us as 'Sparkles'. She doesn't smile or make eye contact despite our attempts (there is definitely a pattern emerging here). I'll give her the benefit of the doubt because it's late (nearly midnight) and most people are going to sleep anyway.

15. The company we share in the dining carriage is interesting. On every occasion that we've strolled down there to escape the heatwave of Carriage 7, we are greeted by the posh German group who have come from first class and who are guzzling their free food and drink. They are inoffensive albeit obviously rich. The waitresses in the dining carriage are friendly and helpful and we even get to see them smile on occasion.

16. Arriving in Vladivostok we are relieved for some fresh air, but sad to say goodbye to the first leg of our trans-Siberian train journey.