Border formalities between any two neighbouring countries are always a little bit painful. Add a tour group of twenty people, a huge orange truck plus border security rules that include a prison sentence if you forget to throw away your codeine-containing painkillers, and five hours later, exhausted, we limped across the border and into Turkmenistan. The customs official who was convinced that I was carrying narcotics, was thoroughly disappointed when, after a complete check and the entire contents of my bag being emptied onto the floor, she failed to find any trace of illegal substances.
Our first two days in Turkmenistan involved sand, flies, heat and desert.
"One camel, two camels, three camels, twenty camels"... the view from the window of our truck as we drove hundreds of kilometres into the Karakum desert was endlessly monotonous but strangely entertaining. Camels spit, fart and burp, so why do I never tire of seeing them perambulating across the sand dunes without a care in the world? They are truly majestic creatures - a little bit dumb and with no road safety sense - but beautiful all the same.
We had two nights of bush camping ahead of us before we arrived in the capital city of Ashgabat. In the desert there were no toilets, no showers, no nothing. Just us, our truck, some tents and a menagerie of a few thousand ants, mosquitoes, wasps, dung beetles and dragonflies. But as usual I was in my element - to be honest it's hard to beat a campfire, a sky full of stars and a beer.
On the way to our second night of desert camping, we stopped at the World Heritage Listed Konye-Urgench. Famed as the site of rebellious fighting against Genghis Khan, this ancient city held off the mongols with such force that eventually Genghis resorted to the tactic of re-routing the surrounding rivers to flood the city and drown all its occupants. Since then earthquakes have ruined much of the site, but what still remains is a fascinating insight into life in this part of the world over many centuries of catastrophe.
Darvaza Gas Crater: SPECTACULAR! You have to see it to believe it. In the middle of the desert, miles from anywhere, a massive hole in the ground burns with thousands of semi-eternal flames... an environmental disaster which is the result of soviet-era gas exploration. Nicknamed "the gates of hell", this hole indeed conjured up images of the underworld as soon as we hurtled over the final sand dune in our 4x4 and came face to face with its brutal intensity. And with no railings, no safety measures and crumbling sandy edges, we wondered whether we might just be about to come face to face with the devil himself. We made sure we stayed well away from the edge - more so to avoid the intolerable heat than anything else. But what a sight to behold if ever there was one... it sent shivers down my spine.
"One camel, two camels, three camels, twenty camels"... A final four hour drive and we arrived in Ashgabat. A brief wander to the Russian Bazaar on our own (and Sarah) for a doner kebab lunch, and then some much needed relax time at the hotel to escape the oppressive heat.
Ashgabat is a quirky city. The contrast between the old and the new makes you feel like you are moving between two different worlds. The building monstrocities that have appeared as a result of the reign of the infamous Turkmenbashi mainly consist of gleaming marble and gold ... looking out at the city from a hilltop gives you an eyeful of palace-like architecture in every direction. Sadly, entire neighbourhoods were demolished to make way for the new buildings, and we barely saw a single person or car during our time in this part of the city. After a visit to Tolkuchka Bazaar, a manic and enormous market that sells everything (including sheep and camels), we toured the city sights, in a manner not dissimilar to our sterile tour of Pyongyang some months ago. The Turkmen are very proud of their city's achievements and although the personality cult of Turkmenbashi is weaker since his death, he is still held extremely highly. We visited the Arch of Neutrality, the Wedding Palace and the largest enclosed ferris wheel in the world. The heat was oppressive as usual, but didn't explain the obvious lack of local residents who I would expect to be out enjoying their city on a Sunday afternoon. Regardless, we found the day intriguing and thoroughly interesting.
After less than a week in Turkmenistan we are now able to reflect on our experience, and contrast our time camping in the desert with the few days we spent in the city. This is definitely a country of extremes, but also a place we've loved and will be sad to say goodbye to.
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